Thoughts in Isolation
How can we honour the devastating reality of what’s going on in the world right now, whilst still seeing the good?
I’ve being thinking about this a lot these past few weeks.
Our lives, to one degree or another have been turned upside down; the rug dragged from underneath us; shaken up; spun around; stopped in its tracks.
Whichever analogy you choose to use, they all fit. Some lives, of course have been affected far greater than others, with bigger changes and with more terrifying consequences. As Dolly Alderton aptly surmised on the High Low Podcast last week; we are not on a level playing field in this pandemic and we would do well to remember this.
I can’t speak for everyone. I am incredibly grateful that those closest to me are safe. They have homes and food on the table and they are reasonably healthy. Despite all of these luxuries, the collective fear factor has been high. Many of us, myself included, are exhausted in ways that seem unexplainable when we feel like we are doing so much less.
The reality is, that while our bodies are (in most cases) doing less, our brains are working in overdrive to keep up with the uncertainty that lies ahead of us as each week passes.
The search for the light in this darkness has lead us to move our worlds into a digital realm. Online communities have been formed; fitness classes, painting classes, dance parties, house parties, musicians dj-ing from their living rooms; we are seeing more and more famous faces singing and encouraging us all to stay strong and believe we will get through this.
The NHS have been showered in the kind of love and support they should really be shown EVERY DAY. Proving that it takes a crisis of epic proportions for the world to see and appreciate the work that these people do 365 days a year.
I’ve had virtual quiz nights, boozy brunches, family chats and have been able to practice yoga and pilates with all of my favourite teachers from all over the world, without leaving the house. I’ve had time to read and write and felt huge pressures to create and use this time wisely.
The struggle I have with all of this, is understanding how to appreciate and partake in the creativity born from crisis without ignoring and pushing away the mucky yucky feelings of fear and uncertainty that are absolutely there in every moment. How can we soften enough to enjoy this time without ignoring the gravity of the situation we are in as part of a collective?
Communicating with loved ones, the sheer number of classes, the endless lists of recommended podcasts, books, TV shows, articles is overwhelming. I’ve written lists myself and consider these an incredible luxury. To have the time to do these things is a gift.
But this new level of constant stimulation, engagement and energy exposure is something I’m struggling with. Wanting, no needing quiet and disconnect but then battling feelings of loneliness and craving community, a hug, a chat, in real life, is conflicting.
It leaves me wondering if this constant connection could be making us feel more disconnected than ever.
x